Ch-ch-ch-changes

Crushed Dreams

Today I thought about quitting my job. Just walking into my boss's office and hand in my resignation. Then I would walk to my coworkers and thank them and tell them it was great while it lasted. Then I would send a mass email with plenty of nasty thoughts.

Then I came to my frakking senses and remembered I have a car payment coming up.

What the hell happened? There was a plan. There was a purpose. Now all that's left is a sense of constant dread. Hell, I am lucky to have a job and I have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep.

So I decided to do. I am going to try something new and see how it works out. It's going to be difficult. It might be a mistake. I am a little freaked out. And for once, that damnable sense of dread is gone. Well, not completely gone, but it's not so loud anymore.

I have to take a chance because the world continues to move. No one is slowing down, no one is going to wait for me to catch up. If I want my freedom I have to grab it and fight. I thought I didn't have any fight in me. That's because I forgot the first rule of mountain climbing: you start at the bottom, and you climb. You keep climbing until you reach the top. I kept looking down when I should have been looking up. It won't happen tomorrow, or next week, or even next year, but I will make it happen. I don't give up. I struggle until there is nothing left, then I get back up. I haven't failed, I just haven't achieved my ultimate goal.

What is that you may ask?

I'm not telling................................................................................

The Truth................
.................................. life sucks and you can't change the world single-handily but we can change the world around us for the better. When we make other people better, it spreads and expands. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.